Hi all. 🙂
Below, you will find Caroline’s personal Twin Flame story. She is the lady who provides us with the monthly updates (we just translate them from Dutch to English). It is a wonderful and remarkable story, and many of us will recognize a lot of aspects.
You may find her own personal website at http://www.carmacoaching.com, http://www.illumined-twinflames.com and http://www.twinflames.support
When I first met my True Beloved – at the age of 37 – and looked him straight in the eye, I got lost in them and I thought, ‘What is happening here, why do I suddenly feel the Ultimate Truth?’ Time stood still…
I discovered myself in him.
He touched my very core.
But then, I (fortunately) didn’t realize just yet that this meeting was to touch upon deeply hidden unconscious inner issues.
I did immediately have a feeling of: I have known you for a very long time. As if I had come home. I immediately felt like ‘myself’, only it was a self that had been lost for a long time. Before meeting my true half I experienced a lot of pain, loss (and forgiveness) by and because of meetings with Soul Mates. And I experienced truly being alone in every way.
In fact these experiences made me ‘stronger’ in order to be able to ‘handle’ the Twin Flame journey.
Meeting the other half of my soul hit me like dynamite. At first I thought I was simply being in love, this happens to everyone and will probably pass. I have been in love many times in my life, but I couldn’t find the words to describe this feeling, or understand it. I felt light, loved, beautiful, self-assured, great, compelling and incredibly happy. I instantly loved him intensely. He deeply touched me, like nothing had ever touched me before. At the same time I experienced an inexplicable ‘pain’; pain of having been parted (for centuries) not only from him but from my source and myself as well.
The mutual attraction was bizarrely strong, both physically and emotionally. I could never have expected just then, that this was only the beginning of a deep connection where attracting/repelling and distance were to be dominant. For my (and my True Beloved’s) journey of discovering myself, through all the layers of the Ego to my pure and infinitely loving core of my being, didn’t start until then. All this was very confusing. Suddenly I no longer felt like an individual, I experienced this unity, was suddenly connected to him, to the greater whole, to my naked Self. From here, the energy of my heart started to build…
His energy hit so hard, I couldn’t but search for answers as to how and why. And so I entered a spiritual quest. In this quest I met many people who told me to let him go. In my experience love that conquers doesn’t have to be let go.
I would rather say you are faced with lessons of Unconditional Love and ‘letting go’ of expectations. That’s all it is, really.
Twin Flame love and Twin Flame energy will not be controlled, for the energy returns, sticks, forces itself on you and refuses to leave.
Hardly anyone was able to understand what I was going through. Or still is, for that matter. In my environment, people often reacted reservedly and somewhat demeaning whenever I found the courage to introduce the subject. And it is all but an easy subject, I agree. But does that make it ok to just wave it aside? I respect those who doubt the existence of Twin Flames/Divine Counterparts. But to me, it is a matter of inner knowing!
When the ‘Honeymoon phase’ was nearing its end, about four months after we first met, we both started having doubts. It wouldn’t become clear to me. And I still don’t know exactly what he was having doubts about. But it probably had everything to do with the energy of duality.
What I desired was to move on, from thinking to feeling, and to release the love. I wanted to express our love in a more concrete way and overtook him with my deep feelings and desires. The first cracks in our ‘relationship’… But being dependent and forcing someone to be together has nothing to do with true love. Only I didn’t know just then that he would turn out to be my ultimate mirror. He made me see that you shouldn’t necessarily want something from love; it is enough to just witness it. But I wanted to be together and stay with him!
During the Honeymoon phase we also found out that we had lived almost the same kind of lives; similar experiences, similar patterns. We grew up in the same area, only a stone’s throw away. And that’s not all; we are very much alike physically.
In short, a lot of synchronicities. And this synchronicity became more and more prominent as I encountered more and more symbolic events in the process.
During the phases of attracting/repelling and separation I learned that I am not dependent of anyone but myself; not my Twin Flame either. All I needed was Me. And knowing this made me stop these feelings of longing, manipulating and clinging inside me. I no longer ‘needed’ it.
I now know that our soul connection has always been there and will always be, because I feel it in my heart! My mind, however, can’t grasp it. But… my body responds instantly when we see, meet or touch (or sense when we are not physically together); Kundalini energy emerges, manifesting in trembling all over your body. And one night, when I put my hand on his crown chakra, he instantly noticed without seeing. We are two magnets, really.
The psychological and spiritual connection to my great love is intense and profound. Our connection is magical. Our love is not only ‘beautiful’ but confronting as well. Our sites of pain, our core wounds, our hurt pieces of our inner child and our emotional baggage have been exposed. We continuously trigger each other, mainly emotionally. But it is our soul’s choice to experience all this.
The Twin Flame journey truly is an in-depth process.
By meeting my True Beloved, my intuitive abilities became very strong. Clairsentience started developing rapidly. And from there, I was allowed to fulfil a purpose that requires all my energy. To unroll love, to give attention. It is a task my Twin Flame and I carry together, but a service I have rendered by myself so far.
The name Carma is a combination of both our first names.
My Twin Flame and I are now (in 2014) still confronted with distance and separation, probably because we are allowed to strengthen our connection to the spirit and find the way to our own hearts. Our purpose in life. Each individually.
Really being together (unfortunately) is not possible yet.
Last but not least, people often think Twin Flames are so identical that a ‘relationship’ would not be exciting or challenging at all. In the minds of people around me Twin Flames would spend their time cosily chatting away on the couch. The Twin Flame connection would just quietly be, and neither party would have the slightest urge to change anything about themselves (or the other). I really think it’s time to put a stop to this kind of misunderstandings, because a Twin Flame connection is anything but the way described above.
I don’t claim to be omniscient, but this I do know. It is an inner knowing. And I can state that a Twin Flame connection is anything BUT quiet. On the contrary; meeting your Twin Flame sets everything in motion in such a way that everything is turned upside down. In fact, the challenges a Twin Flame connection offers are so big that your life is turned up site down completely. Al your negative issues (even those you thought you’d already worked out/solved) are exposed. These are conditionings and beliefs that are still being held inside the emotional body and the limiting thoughts about what Love really is. Unconditional love will solve this eventually, until only the True Essence remains.
We are allowed to experience our physical, emotional and ethereal reunion here on earth, but our unity has been a fact all along. Because:
-Where do you find someone that makes you feel ‘at home’ the way he or she does?
-Where do you find someone else who touches so deeply your inner Core?
-Where do you find someone you are this attracted to, mentally, emotionally and physically?
-How do you explain the fact that, despite disagreement and conflict, you still feel something very special for each other, something so special that it elevates above any ‘normal’ kind of love?
-How do you explain that your partner is exactly the same as you are, and yet so completely different?
-How do you explain there is no fear of being separated, because knowing that you belong together is so intense?
But finally, there’s the question: are you capable of handling your human emotions? Are you able to let the other be free in what he or she does, in who he or she really is? If there’s one thing I learned, it’s that pushing creates distance, only ‘letting go’ will bring you together.
To love someone are words we have become accustomed to, and it can be beautiful and fulfilling. But loving with all that you are is beyond words, beyond our ‘normal’ sense of reality and utterly impalpable. Our deep connection will never fade, we will remain like mutually attracting magnets, two souls longing for each other. There is no end, only a beginning.
I am grateful to be allowed to experience the true essence of love.