Here is another beautiful TF story:
Dear Em, you can trust your heart when you need to be sure if he’s your Twin or not, but we can tell you, that if after your experience with him you had a Kundalini rising, there are many posibilities for him to be ;), keep on trusting and ask always for divine guidance, thank you for sending your story, and sorry, we didn´t see it before, we have a lot of e-mails, we try to reply to every e-mail / comment the most we can, but sometimes we can’t because of our jobs and education. Our time sometimes is limited, we want to apologize for that and thank you all for being there and trust in us ❤
Enjoy that beautiful story
Thought I would submit my twin flame story for your blog/website. For anonymity I will refer to him as HIM, HE).
Truth is, I’m not really sure if HE is my twin flame anymore, although a lot of what I read fits for us. I have gotten to a point where I am feeling pretty much fed up and done. I need to put my focus on me, and not HIM. I deleted HIM from my Facebook recently for that very reason. It will be easier to focus on myself without HIM in my face every day on Facebook……seeing what HE is doing and who HE’s doing it with. Another woman was posting comments on HIS page that tell me they are spending time together……that was the last straw for me. I waited for HIM through a previous year and a half relationship before I had even heard of the term twin flame. HE ran from our connection and into her arms. Even when that happened, I knew somewhere deep inside that HE would be back and we were not done. No matter how hard I tried, I could not get HIM off my mind and out of my heart, and I could never understand why.
The odd thing is…….we are friends who have never even admitted or spoken of our feelings for each other. We have not experienced the blissful period……never dated, kissed……..never even spent any time alone. We are always in a group. He ran from me right from the start and is still running……yet there is an undeniable pull and connection between us.
We met 5 years ago when both of our 18-year marriages ended and we joined the same support group. I liked HIM very much from the start……felt comfortable with HIM…….HE was easy to talk to, and I just considered HIM to be a really nice, great guy, but there was no instant attraction. Our interactions were always very comfortable and I just thought of HIM as a nice friend. Though thinking back…….I did always like it better when HE was around, even if I didn’t really want to acknowledge it at the time. We liked and respected each other very much, but I didn’t really notice anything special between us. For the first year or so, HE hung around with some other members of the group (women lol), and I was interested in another guy from our group who showed an interest in me…….though nothing ever came of it. Eventually, that guy started seeing someone else suddenly and stopped coming to group functions.
It was several months after that, that I started to notice an interest from HIM as more than a friend. Although thinking back again (which I have done a lot of) I can see that HE really was showing an interest all along and I just didn’t pick up on it, although at times I did think I noticed something, but I always talked myself out of it and said to myself, “No, HE and I are just friends.” So one night at coffee after one of our group meetings, I glanced HIS way and caught HIM staring at me in that certain way. HE didn’t even seem to really notice I caught him, but I of course looked away again. I talked myself out of it again, but decided I would watch for more signs/signals from him. (I am very overweight and just never imagined HE would be interested in me romantically. I always thought HE was attractive, but never allowed myself to think of HIM that way because I thought there was just no way HE would ever be interested in me. HE is very athletic and attractive and women flock to him.) Anyway…….the signals kept coming and I reciprocated to show my interest. Our “flirting” involved a lot of eye contact……glances here and there. We were never obvious about it and no one else in the group ever knew anything was going on…….still don’t as far as I know. After about 8 months of these signals flying back and forth, we shared a special moment. It happened at the dinner we had at the end of one of our group sessions. Again, we had been flirting back and forth and HE had become more obvious, to me, about HIS interest and I just felt that things were coming to a head. I was getting ready to leave and HE called out to me with the special nickname that HE has for me and I turned around and watched HIM walk towards me (it was like everything was happening in slow motion lol). When HE reached me HE seemed at a loss for words and I remember seeing HIS hands make gestures as if HE didn’t know what to say…….but then HE just gave me a sideways glance, which turned into a piercing, prolonged gaze between us……staring into each other’s eyes. I broke the moment by reaching for HIM and we shared a lonnnnnng hug. (My group always hugs and I had hugged HIM many times before, but this was different……it felt like a moment of honesty between us where we both acknowledged, non-verbally that we had feelings for each other.) When the hug broke, I could not bring myself to look in HIS eyes (I know…..stupid, stupid lol). I actually think that some of our friends from the group did notice something between us that night, but nothing was really ever said. I assumed that we would start seeing each other after that, but instead……..he became very distant and started seeing the woman with whom HE had the year and a half relationship…….and HE and I started the façade that continues today of being “just friends” when we both know there is something more between us.
I saw HIM a few times after that (once with her ) and every time……it was obvious to me that the connection still existed between us. (I could just feel it…….like you could cut the sexual tension between us with a knife). Then I had very little contact with HIM for almost a year until my group had a gathering in December of 2012. HE showed up, without her ), but assured us that they were still together and she just had some work issues to deal with. Again that tension (energy) was there between us and although I tried to keep my distance from HIM that night, we always seemed to end up near each other. A few weeks later……he sent me a message telling me that HIS relationship was “messed” and I expressed shock and gave HIM my sympathy (even though I was secretly ecstatic lol), and ended up telling HIM to let me know if HE goes back on the market……a comment which HE more or less brushed off…….but then HE contacted me again a few days later. HIS relationship ended shortly after that. I was sure that this was meant to be and that now we would have a chance to be together.
That was over a year ago and I have seen HIM a handful of times since then and I know the connection is still there, but it’s also obvious to me that HE is just not ready to admit and accept it. At first HE would contact me occasionally, but for a long time now……it’s been me putting in all the effort while HE seems to become more and more distant and is choosing to spend HIS time with others. So I have stopped initiating and, as I said before, I have now deleted HIM from my Facebook almost a month ago and I have not heard a word from him. So I am really feeling that I need to let this go and move on…….as much as the thought of that breaks my heart…….I think it is the healthy thing to do. I can’t just allow HIM to continue to ignore, neglect me, and take me for granted while I wait for something that may never happen between us.
An important thing to mention here is that this past summer is when I recognized HIM as my soul mate and then upon further research came to believe HIM to be my twin flame. My father passed away in July and HE came to the funeral home along with other friends from our support group. Shortly after that…….I started to receive messages on my computer in the form of quotes, angel/tarot cards, etc…….messages that were all about romance, new love, true love and soul mate…….and they just kept coming. (I have been spiritual for many years and have come to believe that my spirit guides communicate with me in this way…….through my computer, because I spend so much time on it.) Of course, I believed the messages to be about HIM. I wanted them to be about HIM. I felt the need for confirmation, so I started consulting psychics online who confirmed my belief that HE and I are soul mates……and some of them have said twin flames. (Of course a few have said that HE is not and that I have someone else entering my life.) The realization, false or real, that HE was my soul mate triggered a spiritual/kundalini awakening in me. I started to have a lot of strange physical symptoms and thought that I had MS or something. My doctor diagnosed it as anxiety and put me on meds, which I stopped taking when I realized what was really going on. I have had some supernatural experiences which lead me to research spiritual awakening and confirmed for me that that was what I was experiencing. Recognizing HIM as my soul mate/twin flame caused me to become obsessed with HIM for months. I have fantasized about HIM and longed for HIM extremely…….but then I finally reached a point where I became numb and feel like I started to lose my feelings for him. I thought I was giving HIM time to heal and come to terms with HIS feelings for me and approach me when HE felt ready, but then I find out he’s hanging out with someone else……and HE can’t work on himself when HE is doing that.
This is why I am feeling fed up and have more or less given up. (I realize I need to work on myself as well and have explored different avenues to help myself heal wounds, lose my fears, and learn to love myself.) If this ever happens between HIM and me……it will have to be HIS doing because I am done. I have tried to get close to HIM a few times, but HE has shut me out. Either HE will contact me, or HE won’t…….in which case I need to move on anyway……twin flame or not. I must say that I feel better having cutoff all communication with him. I have just obtained a new job after many years of unemployment, and I feel more able and ready to focus on myself and even feel ready to open myself up to romance with someone else. I may be fooling myself because, if HE is my true twin flame, I know that I can never really forget HIM or get over him, but that is the road that I am currently headed down.
I’m sorry for the length of this, but I wanted to tell the complete story lol. It feels good to get it down on paper. I would appreciate and welcome anyone’s thoughts, comments, advice. Thanks for listening!!
Love and light,